We left our countries, we moved to the Cayman Islands, and now we think we are absolved of all ‘basic betch’ tendencies. Guess again. Mainstream culture will hunt us down and find us even on a tiny rock in the Caribbean Sea. It tempts us with surface level validation and keeps us coming back for more until we are left wondering if maybe we should have just moved to Nepal to become a monk. Maybe you’re in denial or maybe you’ve fully accepted that you’re basic AF (I have). Whatever the case may be, read the 20 signs below to determine just how basic you really are (in Cayman terms.)
1. ‘Ms. Piper’ is your “spirit animal”
“Live a little, am I right?!”
2. You’re launching your career as a bikini influencer
“When in Rome!”
3. You call the stingrays “sea pups” (but only in Insta captions)
“Aren’t they just the cutest?!”
(…Until they mistake your finger for chum. Not so cute anymore).
4. You’ve sabered the Tattinger at Tillie’s brunch (or wish you had)
Because there are few things more thrilling than obscenely large bottles of overpriced champagne and cavalry weapons.
5. If it’s on the Palm Heights rooftop, you’re so there
Sound healing, spin class, full moon party — doesn’t matter. Us basic girls will be there documenting every second.
6. You couldn’t possibly take a “wellness shot” without first putting it on your story
“Like, what would even be the point then?”
7. You went to Vigoro once, and now you’re a self-proclaimed “plant mama”
“Someone cut Brittany off, she’s literally on her 20th succulent.”
8. You threw a birthday party for yourself at Rum Point Club
“No, but just like SUPER low key.”
9. Your WhatsApp is full of group chats with names like “Girls just wanna have fun” and “Social butterflies”
“I can’t bring myself to leave the chat…Don’t want to burn any bridges on this microscopic island.”
10. Your hair service at Lift is more expensive than a plane ticket
“Yeah, but I’m stuck on this island, so what else am I going to do with my money?”
11. A wave of nostalgia sweeps over you every time you think of Target.
“I just miss everything about it. It was my therapy.”
12. The Gaelic Gala is where you live out your unrealized prom queen aspirations
“I just came to support my team.”
13. Your love language is Paradise Pizza.
“I like, can’t even imagine a world in which the Mr. White does not exist.” *Shivers just thinking about it.*
14. You still order pumpkin spice lattes despite the 90 degree weather
“Nothing will stand between me and Fall vibes. Not even this Caribbean climate.”
15. Island in the Sun by Weezer speaks to you on a “spiritual level.”
“I was divinely guided to the Caribbean. I didn’t choose the island life, the island life chose me.”
16. You prefer Kirk Market to Foster’s because of their in-store playlist (and legume pasta selection, obviously)
*Walking down the frozen aisle to Brown Eyed Girl* “Hold on, let me just Shazam this quick.”
17. You’ve posed on the Barefoot Beach stairs
“OMG, where even are we? This so does not look like Cayman!”
GUILTY.
18. You like to think of Seven Mile Beach as is its own independent country.
“West Bay? Never heard of ’em.”
19. You get nervous at the farmer’s market and panic-buy coconut water.
“This looks nothing like the Madison farmer’s market.”
20. It’s pretty much a guarantee that your weekend escapades will land you at the Bird
Nothing says ‘basic’ like a parking lot party.
MEET KATE
Hi, I’m Kate! I’m a Wisconsin native who traded her snow boots for flip-flops in May of 2020 when I packed my whole life into two suitcases and moved to the Cayman Islands with my partner, Bryan. I created Island Diaries as a way to document my island adventures and share about the Cayman lifestyle. A Midwest girl at heart, I bring a fresh perspective to Caribbean life, serving as a guide for locals and tourists alike on all things Cayman Islands. Whether you are local to Cayman, planning to visit, or just curious about island life, I invite you to explore Island Diaries and let this site guide you on your next island adventure!
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